Steer left only to stop runaway team

Krayton Kerns

My first mule team, Amos and Andy, were polished by pulling my chuckwagon dozens of miles following cows to the mountain. Labor intensive jobs are as good for mules as they are for millennials. Amos and Andy eventually expired, so in 2011 I purchased a replacement mule team. This new pair of mature mollies was billed as having been a feed team, so what could possibly go wrong? I renamed them Martha and Abigail and ground drove them before hitching the team to my hay wagon. I tugged the mules away from the hitchrail and suffered the worst wagon runaway of my life…so far. (This wreck is recorded in Ramblings of a Conservative Cow Doctor, Vol. III.)  Fast-forward six uneventful years.
A couple weeks ago, in preparation for Christmas caroling, the trophy wife and I hitched Martha and Abigail and drove them to the back pasture. With the wagon carrying a heavy payload of wet snow and the pasture mostly mud, the mules struggled climbing through the sagebrush to the upper hitchrail. It was a great Sunday to be a mule skinner.
On Black Friday, I hitched the team for another practice run, but after crossing the Cove Ditch, Martha and Abigail exploded into an all-out runaway. They charged back to the Cove Ditch, before sucking hard to right at the last instant. Building speed, we flew over a brush pile before ricocheting off a 12-inch cottonwood log and finally stopping. It was the worst wagon runaway of my life…so far.
I continued through the pasture, eventually circling my lathered team to the upper hitchrail. The empty wagon banged across some ruts spooking my team into the second runaway of the day. They zoomed towards the hitchrail, but spun hard left just as the hitchrail’s crosspiece ripped the footrest and bench seat from the right side of the wagon. I sit on the left, so had a great view of a nasty accident. I jerked hard on the left line, forcing the team straight up a steep hill to let gravity stop the shenanigans. This brings me to my point. 
Turning left is appropriate only when stopping a runaway team. Hanging a left on the political spectrum is exactly what progressives promote as ideal, but embracing socialism will be the biggest wreck of our lives…so far. Once freedom is surrendered, America will find herself trapped in a death spiral where each day gets worse than the one before. Rather than an anomaly, Venezuela’s socialist mess was entirely predictable. Socialism always empowers the ruling class at the expense of the unwashed. Steer right to freedom.  

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