Ramblings of a Conservative Cow Doctor

Winter contradicts global warming hype

By Krayton Kerns

It was the late ‘70s and yesteryear’s ruling class demanded increasing taxes and regulation so as to prevent the planet’s plunge into another ice age. I was warmed knowing the elites cared so much. The Pass Creek Road along Wyoming’s Big Horn foothills was a 20-mile, ten-foot-deep snow trench which drifted shut every night. We fed cows on paths plowed through the drifted pastures and travel outside these established lanes was impossible. Our four Skidoos would have proved useful, but they had been hiding behind the barn for so long they were impossible to start. In desperation, my younger brother, Blaine, pulled their carburetors and dumped all four in a five-gallon bucket. During a Bronco game, he dutifully disassembled them into dozens of tiny pieces making perfect mental notes as to which screw went where. Like a liberal, his intentions were honorable and all was well until Wednesday.
After grinding feed, Blaine unhitched the feed mixer and it crashed onto his foot thereby smashing his little piggy who had roast beef. Apparently, this was painful. I do not remember a trip to the ER, but someone must have taken him to town because the living room was soon awash in crutches, bandages and painkillers. Opiates dull more than just pain sensation and Blaine quickly lost the ability and interest to reassemble the four carburetors. Over time, the bucket of parts was lost and all four snow machines were eventually re-homed. I could use one today as we are experiencing the same catastrophic weather pattern as we did in the ‘70s. This brings me to my point.
Several years ago, global warming prophets warned snow, ice and glaciers would soon be extinct in the northern hemisphere. This winter, much of Russia, Europe and the US have shattered decade’s old records for snow and cold; a truth completely contradicting the hypothesis man’s carbon emissions are warming the planet. Heavily indoctrinated snowflakers will not be melted by logic because the climate change moniker enables them to reflexively hype every weather event as proving the earth is getting hotter, colder, wetter and drier. To leftists, the solution is always greater regulation and taxes, but here is the truth: Recent satellite data shows earth’s temperature in 2016 and 1998 to be nearly identical and claims of record warmth can only be demonstrated after NOAA and NASA cook their books. Rather than man’s carbon emissions, it is the fake news of collectivists which is warming the planet.

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