Making America great again

Krayton Kerns

I was a country kid raised with rocks and slingshots rather than I-pads, Angry Birds and Ritalin. Lucky me. Back then, gooseneck horse trailers were rare, so we hauled critters in a Curtis stock rack mounted in the back of our half-ton pickup. This pipe and expanded-metal stock rack was built by Ed Curtis of Colstrip and its tail gate and spare tire carrier were ingenious designs. Goose neck trailers quickly made Curtis stock racks obsolete, so country kids coming of age in the ‘70s had no idea the fun they missed a decade earlier. Here is how my life was shaped while hauling horses up the mountain in the back of our red, Chevy pickup.
The Curtis spare tire carrier was a 12-inch deep, 24 inch by 48 inch expanded-metal box mounted directly above the cab. The spare tire was bolted flat to the center of the carrier, forming a perfect seat for the backsides of nine-year-old boys cradling coffee cans of gravel between their P.F. Flyers while firing their sling shots at roadside targets. Hitting a stationary object from a platform traveling at highway speeds, necessitates imaginative leads and it was great fun. At 50 miles-per-hour, the drive to our Lake Creek Cow Camp was a target rich environment of trees, boulders, brace posts and an occasional road sign. This sounds dangerous to parents who came of age in an era of air bags, seat belts and car seats, but it was safer than you might expect. In the event of a head-on collision, the sling-shooters would have been launched safely beyond the crash scene of a bad accident and this brings me to my point.
I have 16 grandchildren who need survival skills such as hitting stationary targets from a moving platform. They certainly do not need I-pads or amphetamine-induced behavior modification. Laws today prohibit the great activities which reared me because progressives endeavor to produce snowflakers who passively eat their government porridge. Obedience to the ruling class is preferred over creativity and ingenuity. I do not want my grandchildren crammed into ​this template, so I will fix the problem myself. I will scatter barrel targets around my back pasture, arm my mini-Kimmels, mini-Warners and mini-Kernses with sling shots and boost them into my Polaris Ranger for a spin around my shooting range. This will be great fun and one small step in Making America Great Again.

Upcoming Events

Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Tuesdays, Noon, Beartooth Grill, 305 1st Ave. S.
Tuesday, July 23, 2019
Fourth Tuesdays, 7 p.m., Eagles Hall, 313 W. Main, 628-4503
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
10 a.m., Laurel Public Library, 720 West Third Street, Laurel, 628-4961
Wednesday, July 24, 2019
Every Wednesday at 5:30 p.m., check for more info. Find them on Facebook . Email them to find out meeting time and to join: The club will have a meeting or volunteer activity. Meeting location is Sid's East Side Bar & Grill on first and third Wednesdays of each month. Members and guests eat free.  Volunteer activity on the second Wednesday of each month. Check their facebook page for updates.  Every fourth Wednesday is for a club social activity. 
Tuesday, July 30, 2019
Tuesdays, Noon, Beartooth Grill, 305 1st Ave. S.
Wednesday, July 31, 2019
10 a.m., Laurel Public Library, 720 West Third Street, Laurel, 628-4961


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